I have a daughter who will become a teenager six days before Christmas and she still believes in Santa Claus.
I can’t remember how old I was when I discovered – or perhaps was told – that Santa didn’t exist. It’s the sort of thing that I would imagine my older brother would have spoiled for me because it’s the sort of thing a big brother would do to his younger sister, but I don’t specifically remember it being him. Or maybe it was. We used to go Christmas present hunting around the house when Mum and Dad were out. We found gifts in the bottom of their wardrobe, in the attic, and one year we even found them in the bottom of the wardrobe of the caravan in the back garden. So maybe it was the finding of the gifts that kind of gave the game away. Sorry, Mum!
What I do remember is that I was definitely still at primary school when it happened.
My husband and I hoped that Ashleigh would make it through primary school still believing in Santa. We thought that there was more chance of her doing this with no older siblings to set her straight. There were a couple of moments where friends told her Santa wasn’t real and we would simply ask, ‘What do you think?’ Her answer was always that she didn’t believe her friends and she’d give some evidence as to why she thought this was the case.
She started senior school last year and we were convinced that, as Christmas approached, she’d declare that Santa didn’t exist. But she didn’t. Again, she was challenged by friends but she didn’t believe them.
We thought there was no way she’d still believe in Santa this Christmas but she still does. Her evidence is that she got a desk one year and there was no way that we could have stored it and made it without her seeing and hearing it. Bless her. There’s that much crap stored in our garage that a flat pack desk added to it would not be noticeable. And, as for making it, that was hubby’s delightful task on Christmas Eve.
So this Christmas she will have turned thirteen and she still believes in Santa. We’re actually quite thrilled by this because we have a very special holiday planned this year. We’re off to Lapland to see “the real Santa” just before Christmas and actually fly out on Ashleigh’s birthday. I didn’t think it would be quite as magical if she didn’t believe but, because she does, it will be all the more special.
What do we do after Christmas? Should we tell her the truth or let her come to her own conclusions?
I was concerned about her being bullied or laughed at for still believing and she admits that she has had some girls laugh at her at school but stuff like that just washes over her. She has always been fiercely independent and believes what she wants to believe, never influenced to follow the crowd. Who is therefore being harmed by her continued belief?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on whether we should break the news to Ashleigh or let her find out when she’s ready, no matter when that might be. I know what I think but I’m curious to hear your take on this first 🙂
Hope you have a fabulous December.
Jessica xx
Jessica Redland Author 
I am not the ideal candidate for answering this Jessica. But I still believe in Santa. At least of one. Who is to say magic does not exist.
Can you imagine who we are? One planet amongst millions, the only planet with life so far known (I completely believe in aliens) – isn’t that magic?
There are lot of things in this world which are unexplainable – isn’t that magic?
There are connections made between people who really stay far far away – isn’t that magic.?
Sometimes we know people before we really know them – isn’t that magic?
Sometimes things happen when least expected – isn’t that magic?
The earth has been alive for millions of years – how do you know there is no supernatural being who was like Santa Claus living centuries ago – isn’t that magic?
All the myths have a place in reality, they just take different forms – isn’t that magic?
So how can I say someone does not exist because I have not seen them.
I have not seen air too, but it is there…
The whole earth is magic, how can you deny one?
These are purely my beliefs… They may not be the right ones for anyone but me
Faith is belief and that emotion too is magic…
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Oh wow, Shalini, thank you so much for taking the time to write such a long and beautiful reply. Yes! Magic! I completely agree with you. When I write, I’m always thinking about magic in people’s lives because I do believe it myself, exactly as you say. I’m very much of the thought that people should believe what they want to believe but was curious as to what others think. If my little girl believes in magic, who am I to take that away from her? xx
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Exactly… My belief is the world takes away our children’s innocence, why should we?
For your daughter, you are Santa.. She just calls you mama… But aren’t you the spirit of love?
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Love that! xx
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I meant I believe in the spirit of Santa*
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Hi Jessica, Your daughter is super cute. This is a coincidence because I am reading your Christmas at The Chocolate Pot Cafe at the moment. I think your daughter must be your positive Pollyanna still believing in Father Christmas awww. I can’t remember when my Alicia stopped believing – but I know she was about seven when Will Farrell’s Elf came out. That’s a good one for explaining ‘Christmas spirit’ – which is really what your daughter is buying into I think. Nothing wrong with a bit of magical thinking – maybe the history of St Nicholas I bet there is a history book out there.
All the best, Sam xxxx
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Hi Sam, thanks so much for commenting and for the lovely comments about Ashleigh. I think you’re right that it is all about the Christmas spirit and it may be that she doesn’t actually believe in the man Santa but she believes in the whole Christmas spirit which is lovely. She does love history – one of her favourite subjects at school – so I might see if I can find something with the history in it. Great idea xx
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[…] ‘…but I still think he does exist.’ And then she rattled off the same evidence about her dad making the desk she’d used before. (You can read about that in my original post here). […]
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