The one where people need to calm down so I’ve doctored the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s fabulous song

businessman-4929680_1920
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

This week in the UK, life as we know it has changed beyond all recognition. Other countries like Spain and Italy have been in lockdown for some time and, whilst we haven’t quite hit that point, we’re well on our way. Schools closed yesterday, and the Prime Minister announced that pubs/ clubs/ cafes/ restaurants/ leisure centres/ gyms would need to close with immediate effect.

pasta-527286_1920
Image by Selling of my photos with StockAgencies is not permitted from Pixabay 

The past week or so has seen many strangers reaching out with amazing acts of kindness  but we’ve also seen shocking scenes of ignorance and greed while people panic buy. Supermarket shelves have been decimated with pasta, toilet roll, liquid soap and hand sanitiser being like gold dust. In fact, food in general is flying off the shelves and the ridiculous thing is that there isn’t actually a food shortage or even a threat of one. There’s plenty to go around and the problem is simply that people are grabbing so much that the supply chain can’t get enough to the supermarkets to accommodate the shocking £1bn of additional spending that has taken place this week. Wow! The government’s message today massively focused on this. People basically need to calm down, stop stockpiling, and give a chance to those who are elderly, vulnerable, working shifts and so on as well as the sensible ones among us who are just trying to shop normally.

toilet-roll-220415_1280
Image by Karen Arnold from Pixabay 

When I woke up this morning, I had Taylor Swift’s fabulous ‘You Need to Calm Down’ in my head, but with a few tweaked lyrics to fit with the current panic-buying mentality. This afternoon, I had a play about with the full song. If you’re not familiar with Taylor’s song, you can find a You Tube link to it here. I apologise to Taylor for doctoring her brilliant lyrics and hope she can forgive me. And I’m no lyricist so I hope you can forgive me too! I challenge you to sing along and see if you can fit all the words in!

Please calm down, everyone. Just stop! There’s food. There are toiletries. The supermarkets and smaller local stores are not closing down. Many restaurants, cafes and takeaways are still delivering. You don’t need a year’s worth of supplies this week!

By the way, I highly recommend Taylor Swift’s latest album, ‘Lover’. It’s amazing 🙂

Stay safe everyone.

Jessica xx

 

You Need to Calm Down by Taylor Swift, doctored by Jessica Redland

You are somebody in the same boat

But you’re takin’ things from shelves like it’s a joke

And I’m just like, damn, there’s enough to go round

Taking more than three, that’s a bad shout

But to steal from my trolley, that’s a knock-out

And I’m just like, “Hey, have you a brain?”

 

And I ain’t tryna mess with your fear and tension

But I’ve learned a lesson that kindness and compassion are what we need at this time

And greed and hate never saved the world

 

So oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

You need to calm down, you’re being a clown

And I’m just like oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh (oh)

You need to just stop

Like can you just not buy all that stuff?

You need to calm down

 

You are somebody who is obsessed

Stockpiling all this food like you’re possessed

Why are you mad?

It makes us so sad (Makes us so sad)

Loo rolls in your house like a stockade

Pasta piled up high like a blockade

Just takin’ that soap you are being a dope

 

You just need to take several breaths and then try to restore the peace

And control your urges to buy all the food that you won’t eat

‘Cause greed never made anybody complete

 

So oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

You need to calm down, you’re being a clown

And I’m just like oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh (oh)

You need to just stop

Like can you just not buy all that stuff?

You need to calm down

 

And we see you over there on the internet

Booking all the slots to deliver it

But we’re calling you out

We all know now we can all eat

You need to calm down

 

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

You need to calm down (you need to calm down)

You’re being a clown (you’re being a clown)

And I’m just like oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh (oh)

You need to just stop (can you stop?)

Like can you just not buy all that stuff?

You need to calm down

coronavirus-4914026_1920
Image by Tumisu from Pixabay Enter a caption

3 thoughts on “The one where people need to calm down so I’ve doctored the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s fabulous song

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s