Tag: procrastination

Did I manage to write a book in a fortnight?

Jessica Redland Author2 Comments

A few weeks ago, I wrote a couple of blog posts. One was about how I was struggling to get going with writing the fourth book in the Hedgehog Hollow series because of the fear that it wouldn’t live up to the high bar set by the third book – Family Secrets at Hedgehog Hollow. The other celebrated my first year anniversary as a full-time author, sharing that it hadn’t been what I expected as I hadn’t managed to get into a routine – unless you can call extreme procrastination a routine – and I still had no work:life balance.

In an attempt to combat this and get book 4 in the series written, I wondered whether I could learn from the process that one of my fellow-Boldwood authors, Shari Low, adopts of writing intensively for 1-2 weeks. I recognised that what works for one author won’t necessarily work for another but it was worth trying something different to try to get out of the rut I’d got into.

w/c 21st June looked reasonably clear in my diary so I wrote, “I’m going to come off social media for the week and see what happens if I try to blitz the book. Even if I could write half of it in a week, I’d be thrilled.”

I added the last bit in because, realistically, I knew I’d never manage to write a book in one week. This was not a belief that I’d fail; simply reality that the only way to do that would be to barely sleep. And I don’t function if I haven’t had some sleep.

I finished the post by writing, “I love the idea of an intensive fortnight to write a book”, very much seeing a fortnight as possible, by which I mean fourteen days, writing on evenings and weekends. And by writing a book, I do mean a first draft with time beyond that to edit and polish the MS (manuscript).

So I’m here to report back on that.

Is it possible to write a (first draft of a) book in a fortnight? Yes. Definitely.

Did I achieve it? No.

Let’s look at what I’ve learned because, although the book isn’t finished, it was still a valuable exercise. 

Learning 1: You should do all your research before you start writing

To write a book in a fortnight, you need to do all your research prior to starting the book blitz so that you have no research distractions.

Potential problem: I’m a pantser which means I don’t plot. I have a basic idea of what the story is about and then the characters take it in the direction they want. This therefore means I don’t always know what I need to research up-front because I don’t know where the story is going to go.

My reality: Book 3 in the series ended on a cliff hanger so book 4 was going to pick up from that. How I dealt with that cliff hanger required significant research and I’d already done that although I hadn’t managed to find all the answers I needed. However, a new character emerged as I wrote which took the book down an unexpected plotline which also required significant research. I had to pause to do that because, without checking out the facts around that scenario, I’d have been wasting my time writing.

That was a big thing and I absolutely did need to do the research, but it wasn’t the only time I got distracted…

I mentioned that one of my main characters was affectionately referred to as Snow White when she was younger because she has raven hair, pale skin, rosy cheeks and big blue eyes. And that got me wondering: Does [the Disney version of] Snow White have blue eyes? It’s sadly the sort of thing a pernickety reader will spot and comment on in a negative review. It’s also the sort of thing I wouldn’t remember to check later as I’d assume I already had done. Cue a Google search as to whether Snow White has blue eyes. She doesn’t. They’re brown. Just as well I checked.

And while I was searching on Snow White images, it made sense to add one to my Pinterest board where I keep inspiration for my books. Saved me doing it later.

Next, I wanted Samantha (the owner of the rescue centre) to have an unusual hedgehog admission so I needed to do some research. In theory, I could have just put ‘RESEARCH SCENARIO’ in my MS and skipped that chapter, but that seemed unnecessary when five to ten minutes of research could have that chapter covered.

Only it wasn’t five to ten minutes of research. It was over an hour, going down a rabbit hole about a rare but fascinating injury. I’m not going to say what it is as that would give spoilers, but I’m pleased with it and I’m glad I did the research. But it stopped me from getting the words down.

Learning 2: This is easier with a series … or is it?

Before I set off on my book blitz experiment, I was convinced it would easier to do this with a book in a series because I already knew the characters and the setting so I wasn’t having to create all of that from scratch.

My reality: I don’t think it actually made much of a difference. Yes, I knew the setting and some of the characters but I didn’t know the new ones who appeared. I’m not sure it made much difference in the end. And, because I didn’t know the new characters, I had to search for images of them. Pinterest called and I answered. More time away from writing. 

Learning 3: You have to completely shut down social media

Social media is one of the biggest distractions an author can have – whether that’s aimlessly scrolling as a procrastination method like I described in my earlier post, or actively engaging with authors or readers on social media. It may be enjoyable and some would suggest it’s essential, but it’s time away from the MS. And, when you’re trying to write a book in a fortnight, it’s a distraction you can’t afford to have.

Potential problem: I realised I’d committed weeks ago to an interview with a book blogger which was scheduled for day 1. My next book, Christmas Wishes at the Chocolate Shop, had also gone up on NetGalley so reviews could start coming in. There were a couple of Facebook Lives for fellow-Boldwood authors that I wanted to support and I was actually going to be hosting one for my good friend, Jo Bartlett, to support the publication of her second Boldwood release: A Summer Wedding for the Cornish Midwife. This would fall into week 2 and Jo and I needed some time to plan the subjects we’d discuss.

My reality: It is very hard to stay off social media completely. I needed to watch out for that interview on day 1 and share it. And, of course, sharing something on social media means temptation was right in front of me and I had a quick check of my notifications. And then I checked to see whether there were any NetGalley reviews in yet for Christmas Wishes at the Chocolate Shop. There weren’t. And, as I’d paused, I might as well check chart positions… See how easy it is to get distracted and back to the old ‘routine’?

Social media has to be shut down completely and I’m not sure how realistic that is when a lot of what we do involves engaging with book bloggers and readers, and supporting other authors.

Learning 4: You need to step away from the emails too

Emails can also be a big distraction. I dread to think how many times a day I click on them to see if anyone has been in touch. I think it’s still a hang up from the days when email was a new thing and it was so thrilling to have mail, as Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks so beautifully capture in the gorgeous romcom You’ve Got Mail. 

My reality: Sometimes an email will arrive that requires prompt action and this happened to me on day 3. My editor got in touch to say that Family Secrets at Hedgehog Hollow was on a one-day 99p Prime Day deal with Amazon which they hadn’t been notified about and could I share far and wide. I’d have missed that if I hadn’t checked my emails (although, bless her, she texted me too knowing I was on my book blitz and might not check them).

It was understandably panic stations and, while my publisher centrally worked on a newsletter to share this deal with subscribers (it covered 7 x Boldwood Books), I offered to knock together a quick Canva (a design package for creating social media posts) and post it on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. You know that phrase – more haste, less speed? This was a classic case of that. I tried to do it really quickly and, as it was a one-day thing, I wanted to put the date on it to avoid any misleading readers who might see the post tomorrow or the day after. Which would have been fine if I hadn’t got the date wrong!

It’s the book’s fault. I always follow a calendar and it’s 2020 in my MS (although in a Covid-free world) so I put 2020 on the Canva and posted it on Twitter and was mid-post on Insta when I realised my error. I’d already sent them to Boldwood so I needed to delete my Twitter post and re-do the Canvas but Canva crashed on me and I was all fingers and thumbs and, well, something that should have taken ten minutes took about forty all told.

Then I needed to keep an eye on my chart position – a tantalisingly close to the Top 100 #106 just before bedtime – and respond to anyone who’d commented on my posts. And then I responded to other social media comments while I was there.

Learning 5: You need to lock yourself away from family

If you’re going to write a book in a fortnight, you need to work some very long hours and you can only do this if you’re not being distracted by other members of your household. Explaining to them that you’re on an intensive writing period and cannot be disturbed unless the house has been picked up by a tornado and is en route to Kansas, someone has been impaled on the door in a freak nail gun accident, or anything else serious like that is not likely to work.

Potential problem: The family (hubby and 14-year-old daughter) had been warned. The family tend not to listen. No matter how many times I ask only to be disturbed if it’s urgent, the family disturb me. No matter how much I explain that a 1-minute interruption can set me back 15 minutes in my thought process, the family disturb me. No matter how clearly I emphasise that two weeks of intensive work mean I will have lots of time free to devote to the family afterwards, the family disturb me.

My reality: On day 3, my daughter texted from school at 9.03am to tell me several of her form class had been called out and sent home to isolate after positive Covid cases had been reported (there’d been several sent home the previous two days). Ten minutes later, I had a text to say there were only four students in her first lesson and their regular teacher wasn’t there. Fifteen minutes later, she was pulled out the class. Five minutes after that, the whole year group were sent home.

It’s life isn’t it? It was unexpected and I couldn’t plan for it but the text exchange put me off my stride. Hubby went to collect her and we had an update on the situation when she got home, a letter from school to read, then another letter saying she needed to go back on Friday for a PCR test and a consent form to sign. Then we later realised that all family members had to have a PCR test too so we needed to book a walk-in session for the three of us on the Thursday which meant that, after a hugely-disrupted Wednesday, I’d be out for about an hour on Thursday to get tested so day 4 would also be disrupted.

We were all negative but it meant that my daughter was home and isolating for most of my blitz which wasn’t going to be easy.

I did try shutting my door at one point and it didn’t sit comfortably with me. I only ever do that when I’m doing a Zoom and don’t want to disturb the family or have them disturb me. Cutting them off completely – especially when they knew it was because I was sick to death of the constant interrupting – felt mean and rude and I don’t want to be an author if I have to lock myself away from my family to do so. I therefore think this is probably much easier to do if you’re in a single-person household and/or you don’t have children living at home. Or pets. The dog is constantly padding in and out too!

Learning 6: It’s hard to find a free week and impossible to find a free fortnight

I deliberately chose w/c 21st June because I had lots of things happening w/c 14th June and knew I’d have too many distractions to get much word count down that week. I knew I couldn’t write on day 1 evening as I’d had a meal with a couple of family members planned in for several weeks and I wasn’t going to cancel but, other than that, the week was looking fairly good. Week 2 wasn’t so clear in the diary. I knew I was hosting Jo’s publication day Zoom and needed some time to plan it, and I was going away for the weekend at the end of it so my fortnight would only be twelve days rather than fourteen.

My reality: My lovely editor and I had a Zoom catch-up booked in for 9am on day 5 of week 1. She’d offered to have it the next week knowing I was on my book blitz but there were a few things I wanted to discuss and, as I would still on a blitz the following week, I was keen for it to go ahead. I was at my desk for 7.15am which was impressive for me and decided to jot down all the questions I wanted to ask, figuring that wouldn’t take too long and I’d have time to write before the Zoom. An hour later and 4 sides of A4…

The Zoom was excellent. I always feel so inspired after a catch-up but it was a long one (my fault due to the aforementioned gazillion questions) and we came off the call at 11.15! Eek! The morning had almost gone and, while I should have cracked on with the MS, old habits crept in and I was back on social media figuring I’d get into the writing in earnest after lunch. Hmmm.

Learning 7: If you find yourself slipping, don’t chuck in the towel

I’ve cited many challenges I’ve faced and copious distractions but not talked about how this impacted on my word count yet so let’s look at that. I had already written a bit back in early June before I decided on this experiment: 8,162 words. My stories typically come in at about 100k words.

My reality: By the end of the ‘normal working week’ of week 1 i.e. Monday-Friday, I’d written 28,049 words (made up of 7,113 / 5,908 / 5,406 / 6,542 / 3,170 in order across the five days) which took my overall total to 36,211. Not great. A third of a book, though. 

The word count wasn’t massively impressive on any of these days because every single day had a distraction (some unexpected) where I lost a morning, afternoon or evening. I can’t recall the exact figure now but my best ever day a few books back was about 8k. I had hoped for about 8-10k each day during this experiment.

You can see that, other than the Thursday, the word count dipped as the week wore on and this was partly to do with me chucking in the towel. Each distraction/disruption/problem that took me away from my word count goals set the Pixies of Disbelief chattering away in my ear telling me this had been a stupid idea and I was not only going to fail but I was also going to humiliate myself because I’d declared my plan on social media and several people were following my post, curious as to whether it would work. I’d been determined it would but that determination waned and waned and I stopped trying. I chucked in the towel instead of re-grouping. Grr! Damn you, Pixies of Disbelief!

The weekend added another 8,044 words (2,901 on Sat and 5,143 on Sun) to the word count bringing me up to a total of 44,255. Nearly halfway. But I could have hit 60k or even 70k quite easily.

Learning 8: A fortnight is a long time to sustain intensity

This is related to learning point 7 as it is to some extent about not chucking in the towel too early but it’s also about sustaining the intensity because two weeks is a long time to solidly write without doing anything else. Is that good for you/the books/your family? Who knows because I didn’t actually manage it!

My reality: As I moved into week 2, I’d already failed in my mind. I still had more than half the book to write and I had a more distracted week ahead of me. I was going to lose the two days at the end because I was away, I was going to lose another day because I needed to do a final proofread on book 13, and I had Jo’s Facebook Live planned in.

As it happens, I also lost the Friday I was travelling. I needed to pack and I was out of the habit of packing having not been anywhere for what feels like an eternity so it took me ages. I needed to work out the directions to the hotel from the station, make sure I had all my paperwork, write a blog post to celebrate one year since the Hedgehog Hollow series was published and it all meant I didn’t write a single word of my MS that day.

My word count for week 2 was only 7,204 across 3 days. Eek! As you can see, I’d thrown in the towel and did not manage to sustain that intensity at all. But I had passed the 50k halfway mark.

Why do I still think that a book can be written in a fortnight?

I’ve talked about all the things that got in my way yet I still believe that a book can be written in a fortnight. Why?

  • Because I could have written 50k words in week 1 very easily and probably reached 60k or even 70k as mentioned. 50k only requires an average of a little over 7k words a day. I exceeded that once and came close on other occasions and I have done similar (or greater) word count loads of times before
  • Because it gets quicker to write a book as the book progresses. You know your characters and the story builds momentum. The second half (for me) is always much quicker to write than the first
  • Because I stopped believing in myself each time I had a disruption instead of working harder (or smarter)

But I do believe that, to achieve this, you do have to completely shut off from everything and that’s a huge sacrifice to make, even for a fortnight.

Do I want to attempt to write a book in a fortnight again?

No. The main reason for this little experiment was never about writing a book in a fortnight but about trying to break the rut I’d got into of constantly being distracted by social media/emails. I’ve learned that it’s not realistic to cut them out of my life but I can make them part of my routine instead.

I’ve also learned that I can write on a morning. I used to struggle with this and would often start my day on social media, only settling down to properly write on an afternoon and evening. This is because, when I had a demanding day job, an evening was the only time I could write. This little experiment has changed this.

I’ve re-discovered my love for just writing and not editing along the way. I’ve always used a ‘threads to follow’ word document during the editing process to note down threads I need to weave into the story later in the book which I’d forgotten to continue in my first draft. During my experiment, I used this as a note of threads I need to go back to, enabling me to continue writing, instead of going back and adding in the required detail at that point. For example, I mentioned a new character who appeared. As the story has progressed, they’ve become a lot more important than I could have anticipated at the start and I need to change several of the earlier chapters to make their relationship with my main character more significant. Pre-experiment, I’d have gone back and amended these but I now have a note of them and will change them later. This is so much better for keeping the flow going.

So where do I go from here? 

My aim is still to finish the first this book way ahead of schedule but I am going to do this differently by having a routine. The plan is as follows:

  • Desk by 8.30am, quick check on emails/reviews/chart positions
  • Working on MS by 9am at the latest (earlier if there’s nothing to respond to on emails)
  • Writing without editing until lunchtime
  • 30-minute break for lunch with check on Facebook/Twitter/Insta
  • Write until teatime providing the words are flowing. If not, stop and move away from the desk to do some reading; something I so rarely get a chance to do
  • Another social media check after tea
  • Rest of evening free
  • Only write on weekends if approaching a deadline or we have no family plans due to bad weather

I reckon I’ll probably write more words in these five days than I do in seven full days at the moment. It gives me a routine which I knew I was lacking and a work:life balance which was non-existent.

I just need to avoid those Procrastination Pixies who will be determined to scupper my plans, the devious little blighters!

If you’ve managed to read all the way to the end of my epic post, well done you! I hope you found it helpful. Please do comment if you’ve learned anything or if you have suggestions. I’d love to hear from you.

Big hugs
Jessica xx

My first year as a full-time author. Not quite as expected…

Jessica Redland Author9 Comments

An old friend and I exchanged news on Messenger this week and she asked if I was still writing full-time. I replied last night that I was and it had been about a year. And then it struck me that it had been pretty much exactly a year and I might even have missed the anniversary. I had. So this is a bit of a belated post!

Tuesday – 8th June – was the one-year anniversary of me being a full-time author. What an amazing year it has been for my career as an author with so many wonderful goals achieved, but it has also been the most peculiar of years thanks to a global pandemic changing everyone’s lives.

This isn’t a blog post about goals achieved or about the strange world in which we live. Instead, it’s about how I’ve found writing full-time…

I thought I’d start this post by sharing an amazing cartoon my husband drew for me to represent frustrating days in my previous role as a distance learning HR Tutor. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my job … most of the time. I don’t think there are many jobs that don’t have a few niggles but the ones in mine had become more frequent and increasingly challenging so the steam coming out the ears had become a regular thing!

So how has the first year been as a full-time author? Not quite what I expected. I say this not because I’m not ‘living the dream’ by doing exactly what I want to do, but because my approach to the freedom to write full-time hasn’t been what I expected and I find myself unexpectedly working more hours than I’ve ever worked.

I used to be able to write a book in 2-3 months squeezing my writing time into evenings and weekends around my demanding more-than-full-time day job. I ran evening webinars so I didn’t even have every evening free to write. I therefore assumed that, with full days available, I would get so much more writing done and at a quicker pace.

Wrong!

I have mastered the art of procrastination. I continually break from what I’m doing to:

  • Check my emails
  • Scroll through my social media feeds
  • Check my chart positions
  • See whether I have new reviews

The last two points are fair enough when it’s publication day or there’s a promotion on but it isn’t necessary several times every day outside that.

I don’t need to repeatedly check my emails and the scrolling through social media feeds is completely unnecessary, especially when the way I do it is so ineffective. I frequently find myself scrolling aimlessly, not resetting Facebook to ‘most recent’ so I am seeing posts I’ve already seen and I’m not interacting with any of them.

I dread to think how many hours I waste each day doing this. Yes, we are talking hours!

Linked to the above, I have absolutely no routine. I plonk myself down at my desk on a morning and am usually still there past 10pm. Argh! That’s not good.

When I had very little time to write, I used to just crack on with it. One hour to write? Okay, let’s do this!

Not so much now. With the whole day and week spread out before me, I don’t use it effectively. I spend ages staring into space. Sometimes I’m thinking about a plot point or piece of dialogue. Most of the time, I’m not. 

I get distracted doing little bits of research when I would previously have put ‘CHECK THIS’ in the middle of my manuscript (MS) and come back to it later to avoid disrupting my flow.

I used to use the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) approach of just getting the words on the page and editing them later but I’ve started editing as I go again or spending ages trying to think of the perfect words to use instead of getting the intention down on the page and perfecting the words later.

I think having so much time spread before me is the problem. At the back of my mind, I knew this could be an issue as a very good friend of mine had become a full-time author a couple of years earlier and she experienced the same issue. When you have very little time, you’re very focused with it. When you have loads of time, you waste it.

I need to be so much more focused with my writing time.

As you can probably guess from what I’ve said about how many hours I spend at my desk, I don’t have one of these. I can’t remember the last time I did.

Last summer, I wrote a week-long series of blog posts about imposter syndrome and it was quite a revelation for me pinpointing what had triggered mine. It went back to my early twenties and continued throughout my working life where I was bullied in the workplace and overlooked for promotion on several occasions.

We all know when we’re good at something or not (even though it’s very British to downplay our abilities) so I’m going to be very non-British and bold and declare that I was excellent at my job but I wasn’t good at playing the game. I didn’t network with the ‘right’ people. I didn’t ‘big myself up’ at work. I didn’t get involved in work politics. I didn’t stamp on others to get to where I wanted to be. I always hoped to progress on my own merits instead of because of who I knew. That strategy didn’t work! I therefore developed a workaholic approach, putting in way more effort and hours than were required in order to prove myself. And that approach became part of me and has never quite left me.

I find it very difficult to relax. I don’t like not being busy. I’m always doing something work-related and this isn’t good. This has exacerbated during the pandemic. Stuck at home? Might as well work then. So I did. Yet, as already stated, it hasn’t been time spent constructively.

Looking back, I have achieved a lot. In the year I’ve been a full-time author, I have:

  • Written three full-length novels, one of which required a complete re-write in edits
  • Completely re-written one of my backlist books as I wasn’t happy with the way it was written
  • Undertaken a full edit on another of my backlist

But I could have done more and … here’s the rub … in fewer hours if I hadn’t procrastinated, if I’d found a routine, and if I’d given myself a work life balance.

I think that the latter is one of the reasons why I procrastinate and don’t have a routine and it’s a vicious circle. I’m shattered because I don’t have any downtime so, when I do sit down at my desk, I can’t concentrate for long so I write a few hundred words and then get distracted. The words come more slowly because I’m tired but that means I need to sit at my desk longer to get the book written which means no work life balance which means I’m shattered so I procrastinate…

What can I do?

Only I can make the change. My husband challenged whether I should write fewer than four books a year to give me more time, but four books a year is absolutely do-able. The problem is that I don’t use the time effectively so it’s not the volume of work I need to change; it’s how I work.

I was fascinated by listening to a Facebook Live last week from fellow-Boldwood author Shari Low on the publication day of her latest novel, One Summer Sunrise. Shari talked about how quickly she writes her books and I was fascinated by it. She pretty much shuts herself off for a week or two and blitzes it. She doesn’t look at social media or go out. It’s a very intensive period with very long hours but the book gets written. Wow!

I wondered if she might put a huge amount of planning into it so that she knows exactly what she’s going to write but she’s a pantser, like me, just getting on with writing the idea she has. So this could work for me. If she’d planned first, that would be no good. I’m definitely not a planner with my writing.

I have started writing the fourth book in the Hedgehog Hollow series – A Wedding at Hedgehog Hollow – and it’s going very slowly. This is partly because I have to do some research first and I’m struggling to find the detail I need so that’s holding me up, but it’s also because I’m procrastinating and because I have no routine. Next week isn’t a good week to try Shari’s approach as I am meeting up with my writing bestie, I have a hair appointment, and I have a cover reveal at the end of the week so need to be on social media. However, w/c 21st June is relatively clear in the diary so I’m going to come off social media for the week and see what happens if I try to blitz the book. Even if I could write half of it in a week, I’d be thrilled.

Every author is different and what works for one isn’t going to work for another but they say that the definition of madness is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. I’ve been doing the same thing for the past year and it’s not effective so it’s time to experiment with something a little different. I’ll let you know how I get on.

I hope this approach does work for me as I love the idea of an intensive fortnight to write a book and then time to do other things and be with my family outside of that. Of course, the process of writing the book doesn’t stop at that fortnight. There are still two rounds of edits, copy edits and proofreading stages but I think something radical is needed to stop me from working all these crazy hours.

Wish me luck!

Big hugs
Jessica xx

My name’s Jessica and I have imposter syndrome – Part 4

Jessica Redland Author6 Comments

We’re on the penultimate day of a week of blog posts about imposter syndrome. Here’s a reminder of the plan for the series:

  • Monday – The theory behind it – what it is and how it manifests itself. Read it here
  • Tuesday – Where it comes from and how mine started. Read it here
  • Wednesday – How it affects me as an author. Read it here
  • Thursday – Coping strategies
  • Friday – Recognising it in others and helping them

Yesterday I gave some insight into how imposter syndrome has affected how I’ve felt about and reacted to the writing successes I’ve had this year. Yes, I do realise there have been amazing successes but the imposter in me has meant I’ve struggled to believe them/accept them/enjoy them.

Over the past month or so, I have become very aware that my mindset needs to change because it’s not healthy. My books have achieved things I never believed they could and I want to enjoy each and every precious moment. After all, my goal from when I first became published was not about getting a #1 or a Kindle Bonus or 100 reviews. My goal was to earn enough from writing that I could do it full-time. And that has happened. Everything else should be a bonus!

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

I do know that getting up at 3.00 a.m. then 4.00 a.m. and again at 5.00 a.m. to obsessively check chart positions is not good. I do know that refreshing my screen every 15-20 minutes to check for chart positions is not good. I do know that obsessively checking for new reviews and feeling tearful when there’s a negative one is not good. The list goes on.

I’ve undertaken a lot of research into how to cope with imposter syndrome and there are common themes that recur in all the articles/expert advice so I’m going to talk about the six main strategies, give some tips on dealing with each and state my commitment towards working on each.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay 

Coping Mechanism 1 – RECOGNISE IT

Don’t they say that the first step in overcoming addiction is to admit you have a problem? It’s the same with imposter syndrome. I have realised this year that it has got out of hand and I need to do something about it.

TOP TIP: See if you can identify what triggered your imposter syndrome. On Tuesday, I gave a list of some common triggers and one or even several of those might resonate. 

For me, realising the origin was a lightbulb moment as well as being a catalyst for moving on. The reality is that those workplace bullies aren’t in my life anymore and never will be again. I’m a full-time author based from home so work is a very different set-up for me now. There are no promotions, bonuses or pay-rises … or at least not in the traditional sense. There’s no being passed from manager to manager. There’s nobody taking credit for my work. There are no redundancies.

MY COMMITMENT: All of those workplace problems that gave rise to my imposter syndrome no longer exist. They’re in the past and they’re going to stay there. The new me is a full-time successful author and, instead of letting those bullies and negative experiences affect how I behave, I’m going to draw on those experiences and feelings for how my characters behave. Negative into positive. I like that! 

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

Coping Mechanism 2 – SEPARATE FEELINGS FROM FACT

An ‘imposter’ may feel that they are a failure but the evidence will typically suggest otherwise. Remember that imposter syndrome is experienced by those who have achieved success but don’t perceive this in the way others do. They need to focus on the facts, not their feelings of inadequacy.

TOP TIP: Recognise the difference between facts and feelings. Are you really failing or do you just feel like you are? Is there evidence that you are inadequate in some way compared to your peers or is simply a feeling because the imposter syndrome demons are whispering in your ear?

MY COMMITMENT: For me, this means remembering how it used to be pre-Boldwood – zero sales, low chart positions – and rejoicing in anything that is better than that. And what I’ve had this year has been significantly better than that. I’ve had two books in the Kindle Top 100 for goodness sake. I’m in awe of any other author who achieves that. I should therefore be impressed with me and not focus on why one book has done better than another and feel like a failure if that’s the case. The only thing that’s important is that I’m ahead of where I was pre-Boldwood. Which I am. By miles. That’s my focus.

Image by Christine Sponchia from Pixabay 

Coping Mechanism 3 – TALK ABOUT IT

Mental health as a topic has risen to far greater prominence over recent years with many high profile celebrities admitting to struggles in the hope that their stories will help others. With suicide, particularly among men, being at an all-time high, we’re encouraged to open up and talk about our concerns. This is particularly important in a Covid world where isolation and loneliness might sit alongside financial worries and health issues; including mental health challenges.

Talking doesn’t mean the problems are going to go away. That would be naïve. And I wouldn’t necessarily agree with that old saying “a problem shared is a problem halved” but a problem shared does take the weight purely off your shoulders. And that’s a good thing.

TOP TIP: It’s not a failure to put your hand in the air and ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness. When I was much younger (late 80s/early 90s), Bob Hoskins fronted a TV advert for BT with the slogan, “It’s good to talk”. It really is!

MY COMMITMENT: I’m ‘talking’ about it now in the way I know best: through writing. I’m saying I have a problem. It may be a fairly insignificant problem compared to what some people are going through at the moment but it’s there and it’s affecting me and it’s mine. I’d love to connect with others who’ve been there and found ways to push that imposter syndrome aside.

Coping Mechanism 4 – ACCEPT THAT PERFECTIONISM IS IMPOSSIBLE

This is a biggie….

Ah, perfectionism. It’s one of the types of imposter syndrome and, as stated on Tuesday, it’s the one with which I struggle the most. Many people without imposter syndrome may struggle with this too. 

As part of my research, I was shocked at the strong connection between perfectionism and suicide. Scary stuff. That’s probably not a surprise, though, given several high-profile celebrities who have taken their own lives after their flaws have been paraded in front of the world or where they’ve struggled to live up to a perfect image that may have been conveyed via reality TV.

Social media doesn’t help with perfectionism… or does it?

Social media (usually) presents a world that is shiny where the user shows us what they want to show us … and that’s not always reality. Look at posts on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter (showing my age by not talking about sites like TikTok here) and it can often seem as though the lives of others are perfect. Happy families, talented kids, delicious meals, celebrations with friends, amazing achievements… They’re all on there. We compare this to what’s going on in our own imperfect lives and can easily feel inadequate, particularly if we’re prone to imposter syndrome and already feeling like we’re failing.

I remember a friend once saying to me a few years ago, “You’re always out!” and me looking at her in astonishment. I barely ever went out. I had pretty much zero social life. But the few times I did venture out, I posted photos on social media. Her perception of my life was therefore far removed from my reality.

Instead of looking at someone’s social media posts and feeling inadequate by comparison, it’s good to pause and question whether that person could be posting lots of positive images to cover-up or help them during challenges times. I turn to the example of author and virtual friend, Samantha Tonge. In July 2018, Sam wrote an extremely honest blog post about her battle with alcoholism, an experience which provided the inspiration for her fabulous novel released that summer, Forgive Me Not. The blog post is in the public forum but I’ve checked with Sam that she is happy for me to share it here and she has given me her blessing. You can read the full post here. The part that resonated with me is where Sam talks about social media: “It’s helped no end to talk about the positive aspects of my life [on social media], whilst dealing with my demons away from the keyboard. Posting my inspirational memes probably helps me as much as anyone else.”

As Sam’s situation demonstrates, when aspects of our life are a little out of control, it can be easy to grab onto one of the few things we can control – our social media feed – and convey a happy and positive image when that’s not really how we’re feeling. Or to cling onto (and share) a success to help focus on that when other aspects of our life have gone awry. And that can be a good thing. Engaging with others on social media can provide a distraction/a confidence boost/reassurance or whatever it is we might need at that time.

Over the past few months, I’ve found social media to be a brilliant coping strategy for dealing with my imposter syndrome but I’m going to explain how a little later as it links to a couple of the other strategies.

Still with perfectionism but moving away from social media, the desire to achieve perfection can lead to significant procrastination because the ‘imposter’ worries about their ability to meet what are effectively unrealistic high standards so can put off cracking on with their work. Oh my goodness, I’ve been doing so much of this since I became a full-time author and I can directly attribute it to my imposter syndrome perfectionist. I have more time to write now but I also have more time to think about writing. The result of that is that I over-think and the result of that is I don’t get anything written. Nightmare!

Image by Welcome to all and thank you for your visit ! ツ from Pixabay 

Several years ago when I was working on my second novel, I joined the international writing initiative NaNoWriMo. This stands for National Novel Writing Month and is where writers and aspiring writers spend the month of November working towards a target of 50k words (a short novel) by writing roughly 1,600 words a day. The way to achieve this word count and the principle behind the NaNoWriMo approach is not to edit. You just get the words down there, even if they’re not perfect, even if they’re not inspired, even if they’re a bit muddled because getting down a 50k messy draft is far better than spending a month agonising over perfecting every word and managing only about 5k.

I absolutely love this approach. I’d struggled on and off for a decade writing my first novel, trying to perfect every single sentence as I went. I signed up to NaNoWriMo and finished book 2 then wrote part of book 3 and have used this approach ever since. Until now. When I wrote New Arrivals at Hedgehog Hollow, I morphed into the perfectionist and returned to my debut approach of trying to perfect every single word and every single sentence as I went. I’d regressed. I was doing it wrong. And it was painful.

The perfectionist is likely to brood over past mistakes. I’m currently brooding over how painful I made writing Hedgehog Hollow 2 instead of just getting on with book 3 using the approach I know works!

TOP TIP: If you’re an author, take the NaNoWriMo approach. Write a messy first draft. Edit later. It’s liberating.

MY COMMITMENT: I will be taking the NaNoWriMo approach with Hedgehog Hollow book 3 because I’ve written nine books using it. It works. You can find the website and learn more here.

Worry about disappointing people is another of the perfectionist’s issues. Will my readers like this book as much as the last? Will they like the change of setting? Are my publishers happy with me? Am I doing as well as they’d have hoped? Will they renew my contract?

As a perfectionist, I panic when I’m on a blog tour, scanning the review for a low rating or negative comment before I can relax and read it properly. Well, sort of relax. It might be all positive but I’d take something like “I really enjoyed this” as a negative because they didn’t say “I absolutely loved this”. Only a perfectionist gripped by imposter syndrome could find a negative in a 5-star review! Yes, do please shake your head and roll your eyes because I am too!

On Amazon or AppleBooks, I long for every review to be 4 or 5 star and it cuts me to the core when they’re not. Even though I know this is unrealistic. I feel sick if a reviewer is negative or, even worse, says they didn’t bother to finish the book because they hated it so much. Ouch! That hurts so much! Panic sets in. My loyal readers are going to hate it too. I’m a rubbish author. I’ve let my publisher down.

TOP TIP: If you’re an author, don’t read reviews when you’re feeling low because you will feel even lower if they’re negative, or you’ll read negatives into them if they’re positive. Don’t read reviews obsessively. Don’t read reviews at all if they upset or frustrate you. Or perhaps don’t read the 1-3 star ones and only read the 4s and 5s because, let’s face it, some readers say the kindest things and it’s so joyful and reassuring to read them.

MY COMMITMENT: Ooh, I wish I could take this advice! I read every single review. I feel physically sick when I get a negative one. I actually don’t have that many negative ones but I can recite the ones I have pretty much word for word. The 90-95% of 4 and 5 star ones don’t stick in my mind. Funny isn’t it? To be fair, this is human nature and not specific to imposter syndrome.

But, going forwards, I do commit to not reading reviews when I’m feeling down. I do commit to not reading reviews just before bedtime because I know imposter syndrome will keep me awake at night stewing, feeling like a failure, and feeling I’ve let people down if there’s a negative one. And I will try to stop focusing on the negative ones because it’s true what they say: you can never please all of the people all of the time.

I’m also going to stop worrying about disappointing others. I would never, ever submit a book to my publisher that I didn’t believe in with characters I didn’t care about. I love every single book I’ve had published. I believe I can write and I love doing it. If I continue writing books of the quality I’ve written already, my publisher and my readers will not be disappointed. If I stop writing books, they will be. So I’m going to crack on and stop creating problems that don’t yet exist and keep doing what I’ve always done: write uplifting stories of love and friendship.

TOP TIP: Whether you’re an author or not, please don’t try to be perfect. Just try to do well. Perfection is unachievable and you will tie yourself into knots trying to get there. Besides, what you think of as perfection might be what someone else thinks of as flawed so, by default, perfection is an impossibility. Is it worth the stress and the anxiety to try to reach something impossible?

Image by Free Photos from Pixabay 

Coping Mechanism 5 – BE KIND TO YOURSELF

This means quietening the voice in your head that tells you you’re a fraud or aren’t good enough or don’t deserve to be there. It means stop downplaying successes as luck/fluke/circumstance and take ownership of them. It means stop striving for perfection, as per the previous point.

For an author, this also means pushing aside that other pesky ailment – comparisonitis (not an official term but, for many of us, just as real as imposter syndrome). Every author is on their own journey at a different speed. It’s good to be aware of what’s going on around you – who has books coming out and how they’re doing – as that’s all about knowing your market. It’s not good to be obsessed with this and think of yourself as a failure compared to others.

I am my own worst enemy. I set myself ridiculously high expectations and I am constantly trying to out-do myself. I always compare myself to others and stamp ‘could do better’ on my performance. I work pretty much solidly. I don’t take breaks. I don’t take time off. I never relax. The world of Covid has provided me with a perfect excuse to work even more than before: can’t go out, don’t feel safe going out, can’t go on holiday, might as well work.

TOP TIP: Challenge any negative thoughts you have and react differently to any mistakes you might make. You’ve probably heard the classic quote from Thomas Edison, inventor of the lightbulb: “I haven’t failed – I’ve just found 10,000 that won’t work.” He nails it. Failure is a mindset. Everything about imposter syndrome is a mindset.

MY COMMITMENT: I am going to work hard at being kinder to myself and celebrate successes more (see coping mechanism 6). I am going to start taking breaks. The superhero feels guilty if I am not writing yet I know deep down that I’m better off walking away from my desk and taking a break than sitting at it for two hours procrastinating. So that’s what I’m going to do.

The next steps towards being kind to myself will be difficult because they are long-held habits. I’m going to take lunch breaks. I’m not going to work every evening. I’m going to take time off at weekends or during the week so I have a proper break. I’m going to develop a routine around this.

And I am going to stop comparing myself to others. My goal was always to be a published author who can write full-time. I’ve achieved that. The goal is now to keep doing that and have a work/life balance with it.

Coping Mechanism 6 – EMBRACE SUCCESS

It does what it says on the tin. Focus on positives and not negatives and celebrate them. Stop invalidating the smallest win. Stop berating yourself for not doing even better.

TOP TIP: Fake it until you make it. I’m sure you’ve heard that phrase before and, in terms of imposter syndrome, it’s about sharing your successes even if the imposter feeling is that they’re not real/you don’t deserve them/you’re worried someone is going to take it away because, if you keep acknowledging those successes, you will eventually start accepting them and believing them.

MY COMMITMENT: I mentioned social media earlier and said there’s something I’ve started doing recently. Followers on Facebook will have seen me post ‘MILESTONE’ memes where I declare when a book has reached a milestone number of reviews e.g. 100, 150, 200 etc. Reviews seem to be coming in thick and fast at the moment (woo hoo – embrace the success!) and I’ve had quite a lot of books hit milestones over the past fortnight. I sometimes mention two together and, if it’s one, I will typically say what percentage of reviews are positive (4 and 5 star). Note, this is about celebrating (a) a milestone achieved and (b) the positive reviews instead of focusing on the negatives. It’s a mindset change.

Do I feel comfortable doing it? Absolutely not. The imposter in me says: How have you managed to get that many reviews? How are so many of them positive? What about the negative ones? Should you really be ‘boasting’ when you’ve got negative reviews? But I’m telling that voice to shhhh because I’m sick of listening to it. I worked hard to write those books. I’m very proud of those stories. I should embrace those milestones.

And, do you know what? Each milestone post has made me feel a little more positive. Each one has made me believe I do have a right to be here. I’m not a fraud.

I’ll end today’s post with a quote from a recent review on my Christmas at Castle Street blog tour from Rajiv’s Reviews. Rajiv is a new reviewer to my work but read both the re-issued Christmas books – Christmas at Carly’s Cupcakes and Starry Skies Over The Chocolate Pot Cafe – and summarised his final review with this:

“The author is now one of my favorites for contemporary romance. The pacing is perfect, the characters are lovable, and the story-lines are heart-warming. Moreover, she paints the characters and writes emotions in such a beautiful manner, that you love the main characters, and hate the negative characters with a passion”

This! It wasn’t just luck and being in the right place at the right time that moved my books up the chart and got all of those reviews. It was this. And that is why I write. I OWN THAT SUCCESS!!!!

Tomorrow is the final day on this series of imposter syndrome posts and I’ll talk about recognising it in others and how you might be able to help them move forward.

I’m feeling very positive and I’m thinking that I need to type up my commitments separately and pin them on my noticeboard as a reminder of what I’ve promised to myself. Ooh, I might even laminate them! Mmm, using stationery. That makes me soooo happy!

Wishing you a fabulous Thursday and thank you for reading so far.

Big hugs

Jessica xx

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas … and there’s a reason for it

Jessica Redland Author8 Comments

1522851_784506671588635_6474462348225739404_oDo you prefer the build-up to Christmas or Christmas Day itself? I find Christmas Day quite exhausting and, after the munchkin has opened her gifts, I think a year of hard work usually catches up on me and I just want to sleep for England. So, for me, it’s the build-up I prefer and specifically one aspect: the moment when the tree is up and the boxes have all been put back in the attic and I can settle down on the sofa and gaze at the gorgeous lights and decorations. I absolutely love fairy lights and would happily have them up in the house all year round. We moved house 3 years ago. When we had our kitchen re-done in our old house, we had a couple of sets of shelves that looked perfect with white fairy lights on them all year round. Somehow we lost the plugs in the move so our current kitchen doesn’t have any. However, I’ve just treated myself to a couple of sets for the office although they haven’t quite made it out of their boxes yet.


I don’t particularly enjoy Christmas shopping (I’m not a shopping fan full stop) but I love gathering all the gifts together and wrapping them. I like to adorn them with bows and curly ribbon and can spend hours on the task. This year, I’d done them all just before the end of November in a film-fest of The Proposal and What Happens in Vegas. Usually I would watch Christmas films but they were still in the attic. They came down with the decorations so Saturday was a Christmas film-fest whilst tree-decorating.

P1040382I’m greedy. We have three trees! We have a large artificial one in the bay of our lounge, my daughter has a small pink one on a coffee table in the lounge and we have a third smaller artificial one in the dining room window. This may seem an indulgence but we originally bought this extra one because we had large shelved recesses in the dining room in our old house and, in our new house, the lounge is at the back of the house and the dining room is at the front. I like to see Christmas lights from the road so I simply had to put the small tree on display on the large window ledge there.

I’m ridiculously organised this year. I’ve bought and wrapped nearly all my gifts, have written my cards, and have put up all the decorations. I just have gifts for the hubby to buy. He’s an absolute nightmare to buy for so I’ve put it on the table that I haven’t a clue what to get him this year so ball’s in his court to tell me or he’ll have nothing. So far, he’s suggested a blu-ray so progress isn’t great! I’m not normally this organised. Don’t get me wrong – I’m a pretty organised person – but I’m not normally this far in advance with Christmas which begs the question why. What’s different this year?

I think I know.

IMG_0305I’m procrastinating. I’m going through a phase of self-doubt with my writing and, if I immersed myself in spending two evenings producing a spreadsheet with all the things the munchkin had on her wish-list and posting links to said items at the best price (yes, I really did do this!), if I spent two evenings wrapping gifts, two days putting up all the decorations and an evening writing cards, not to mention a morning’s shopping trip and several hours online, then I didn’t have to write. And I didn’t have to face my doubts. And I could continue to be an ostrich. But the shopping’s done, the decorations are up and the cards are written which means I can’t bury my head in the sand anymore. Eek. I’ll tell you more about the self-doubt in my next post.

What to do now? Should I write? No, I think I’ll get those fairy lights out their boxes …

Give me just a little more time …

Jessica Redland AuthorLeave a comment

I’ve been home alone for nearly an hour this evening. My husband left for archery 50 minutes ago and my daughter hasn’t been dropped off from her Nana’s yet. The cats haven’t yet reached point in the evening where they stare at me and squeak annoyingly until I relent and feed them so all is calm and quiet. Which would be the perfect time to sit down and write. Yet how have I spent this time? I need some tea so I managed to spend about 5 minutes putting a pie and chips (hmm, healthy!) into the oven but they’re not going to be ready for 20 mins so I haven’t spent any time eating yet. I’ve changed out of my work clothes which took all of a minute. And I’ve responded to a text so that’s probably about 7 mins accounted for. As for the rest? I’ve flicked around on Yahoo! news, checked my empty email inbox several times, done a Bitstrips on Facebook and stared at my news feed for a very long time waiting for someone to say something interesting. Which, incidentally, they haven’t. As in nothing has appeared as opposed to someone has said something that I rudely deem uninteresting.

So why am I wasting this really valuable writing time? 

Several years ago, I met a writing friend. As a single mum with a young daughter, she was taking some time out of work and I used to envy her the days she could spend in writing heaven, particularly when her daughter was at nursery and then school. I, on the other hand, was commuting several hours a day and working long hours in a demanding job so time was exceedingly precious. Yet we used to often discuss how funny it was that sometimes I could get more writing done in a week than she could and we concluded that, the more time you have, the more time you waste. Well, maybe not waste but you do find other things to do. When your writing time is snatched, as mine was, you tend to just knuckle down and make the most of it.

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I decided to pack in my crazy commute and long hours a couple of years back and after a couple of job changes, I’ve now settled into a role that’s very local. So local that I finish work at 5pm and am home by about 5.20pm. Luxury. Especially for someone who spent 4.25 hours of her day commuting this time two years ago! So now that I have the luxury of time, I should be getting a lot more writing done. But I’m not. Yet I am spending most evenings in the office in front of my computer so why am I not upping my word count?

Some of my time can be accounted for. I run a Brownie pack so that rules out a Monday evening and I need to spend some time planning. But I’ve been doing that for 4.5 years. It’s part of my routine. I also have responsibilities for The Write Romantics blog and regularly communicate with the group on our closed Facebook page (our support network). But we’ve just celebrated our one-year anniversary. So that’s part of my routine too. I’ve started this blog but, realistically, I post less than once a week and blogging is also part of my routine. In February last year, I started a bootcamp and blogged about it after every session until I stopped going in January this year. That’s four times a week! Now we’re maybe talking three times a month. So that’s also part of my normal routine and is a lesser commitment than it used to be.

So, I work shorter hours, I don’t commute, my other responsibilities haven’t changed (become fewer if anything) and I do spend every evening in front of the computer. Yet I’m getting less writing done. Deep down, I know the reason why. There are actually two reasons and, if we really need to give them a label, we’d probably say “crisis of confidence”.

Let me explain …

It took me over a decade to write my first novel. During that time, it got submitted to the NWS twice (to great reviews), went to some beta readers (also to great reviews), was pitched to two editors at the RNA Conference last summer (both of whom wanted the full MS) and is now out there seeking a publishing deal. I’m happy with the book and on up-beat optimistic days, I convince myself that it’s going to find a home because other writing friends who have submitted to certain publishers after me have had regrets already which would indicate I’m in a process and successfully progressing through various stages. (I hope! It sounds more pleasing than the idea that it’s still on the slushpile completely untouched!)

BUT … and it’s a big BUT which is why I’ve put it in capitals … I had that “difficult second book” to write. And I’d set myself up for an even bigger challenge by making it a sequel. A double viewpoint one too. All change! I’d learned so much about the writing process during the book 1 decade that I actually wrote book 2 in seven months! I had my beta readers lined up and I have to say that I was more nervous about them reading book 2 than I had been about book 1. What if they didn’t think it was as good? What if they didn’t like the dual viewpoint? (Which would be a big EEK for book 3 which would be told in triple viewpoint). What if they didn’t think there was sufficient storyline to make a sequel? My relief was incredible when they all loved it. Phew. The ultimate test, though, would be the submission to NWS. As I submitted early in the process (you have until end August), I naively thought it would be back with me in a few weeks. I was completely forgetting that the reviewers are writers themselves with their own deadlines and it was very possible I may be delayed by one of those. It turns out I have been although it will be posted back to me this week. I’ve therefore been in this limbo knowing that my readers liked it (yippee) but wondering if the critique may come back full of development areas. Until I know this “professional” verdict, I’m almost afraid to progress with book 3 (which I’m a third of the way through).

Book 3 is the final book in the series and, as I’ve already said, is told from three points of view but, in its early draft form, I’m looking at it and feeling it’s too episodic i.e. we run from something happening in person 1’s life, then to person 2’s, then back to 1, then 3, then 2, then 3 again and so on. It felt like something was missing. Then I realised what that something was. My main character’s character arc. She doesn’t change by the end of the book. She doesn’t learn something. Well, she does change and she does learn something but not in the way she should for a character arc to really satisfy. I know what the arc will be but that means shifting round some key events and, typically, they’re the events that have already happened which means some major re-work. Do I do this now or do I just finish writing then shift it around?

That’s it, then. That’s the problem. I’m scared of what my critique of book 2 will reveal and I’m being overly critical of what I think would be revealed if book 3 was about to be critiqued and both those things together have put me in ostrich mode where I’m simply avoiding writing because that’s easier than facing up to the fact that I may be a one-book-pony! Ok, ok, stop shouting at me. I know I’m not really. I know my beta readers loved book 2 and, actually, so did I when I read through it (so much more refreshing than having read book 1 about a million times) and I know book 3 has great potential but is just going to be a little longer and more challenging to construct than book 2. Mind you, as long as it’s not longer than book 1, that’s fine by me!

I’m actually feeling better for having put fingers to keyboard. It’s probably the most writing I’ve done this month and it feels good to let it flow. I’ve now had my tea, I’m about to wash my daughter’s hair and sort out bedtime routine but, at 8pm, she’ll be going to sleep and all will be quiet (once I’ve fed those pesky cats) so that’s a great opportunity to get cracking and do some writing. Face my demons. Conquer this thing. Although fellow Write Romantic Helen Phifer’s second novel ‘The Secrets of the Shadows’ was released yesterday and, according to my Kindle, I’m 32% of the way through it. Just like her debut, ‘The Ghost House’, it’s really gripping. Maybe I’ll just finish that first …..